The urge.

Before you start to think lower of me, or let your mind wander to different territories that aren't suitable for children, let me explain my title.

The Urge.

You may link it the phrase to the urge to jump up and frantically run to the restroom.

But my urge is something entirely different.

I have the urge to be someone. Someone important. Someone successful. Someone....better than who I am now.

And, unfortunately enough for myself and all the other young adults making the trek into 'The Real World', the reality of the 'Real' world comes as a blow to our egos. In highschool, we used to take tests and surveys to see which facet of life we would best fit. Where we could be successful, and where we could make tons of money doing the things we love.

"Go to college!" They said. And we, like the doe eyed ignorant fools we were, responded "Alright! I will!" Without even thinking of the reprocussions of student loans, and the saying 'Living paycheck to paycheck' didn't even come to mind.

"Choose a career that you'll want to do every day of your life!" They encouraged. And because we were excited we looked into doing something we loved, we looked into it. I remember being completely overwhelmed with the concept. Something I'm going to want to do the rest of my life. 52 weeks a year. 365 days a year. "I choose writing! I choose English!" I finally came to the conclusion.

Then good ole buddy 'reality' came in to play a few notes and punch me in the gut in the form of my peers; teachers, family and friends alike. "What kind of living can you make if you are mediocre? Get into the health industry! They make lots of money!"

What I wanted to do was to get an English major. I wanted to write, to teach, and to create. I wanted to spin worlds of my own on with tales of dragons, or just regular stories of love and new beginnings. I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to choose a career that I loved.

And look where I am now. 6 months out of graduation, and here I am, simply existing. Going through the motions of everyday life as an ordinary office drone. Doing something that I don't necessarily love with people I don't necessarily like.

The dreams I had for writing and English have all but faded into the background. Where my bills, 40 hour weeks and expenses have taken center stage.

I'll get back to it some day. And someday soon, I'll start college with the same ferventness that I had before I graduated. Some day, maybe not so soon, I won't worry about my finances. And when it comes to choosing that major, it will be decided by what I want to do, rather than what will make me the most money.

So, as my lunch comes to an end, I bid you a farewell, and trump out of the room back to my cubicle. And fall back into the routine of the office drone that I've become.

Thanks for reading.