While in high school I couldn't wait to get into what everyone was referring to as the 'real' world. The real world was where it all happened. The real world is where it would all begin. All my dreams would unravel!
I have never been so wrong. I started my full time job in September. It's only been a few months. For some reason I had thought that the money I would be making would belong to me. Solely me. However, what I didn't realize in High School was that there were taxes taken out at every turn, health insurance to pay for....rent, gas money, money into savings for college... The money that is left over after words isn't enough to buy that new pair of heels I've been dying to have.
My dreams have begun to fade. Slowly their clear images are starting to mush together as my financial situation sets in. College? I don't know what I want to do anymore, so I'll put it off. Marriage? No....I don't think so. Kids? Definitely not. Acting?
I don't think so....not anymore.
I love to act. Haven't always loved it, but in the last few years of High School I got into drama, and even landed a lead in a musical my senior year. But now that I'm in the real world, and having to work 4o hours a week, those dreams don't seem so important....or even feasible. They seem delinquent.
I do have a question though....Where is this 'world' that is so great, so amazing, that all the teachers, peers, and adults were referring to when I was in School? Where the only thing I was responsible for was passing my classes?
"Life is good..." Some would say. But, my life is not good. Okay, yes. It's okay. But good? No!
Today is Wednesday. Two days from Friday... Pay day. The only day that makes this monotonous life worth anything. The day I get to pick up my check, deposit into the bank, only to have money enough to pay bills and buy necessities.
The expectations I had for life were, in comparison to what I'm living, high.
I'm still young, and I still have some time. Some time to get my life in order. Go to college, and maybe one day pursue my dream of acting.
But until then, I'll continue to work my 40 hours a week. I'll continue to get paid every two weeks and use most of the money on bills the following monday. I'll continue to have a close to non existent social life due to my long hours of working. And, I'll continue to live my 'okay' life.
Hopefully things will get better. I'll get a raise at my job, start moving up within the company. But until then... I'll just have to live like most Americans do. From pay check to pay check. Living the life they never wanted to, void of any expectations or dreams.
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