A Quiet New Years Evening.

When New Year's rolls around every year,the world can get a little excited. Fireworks boom in the close distance, stores make their money selling alcohol, and many young adults have their fun at New Year's parties.

An what do you think that I'm going to on my eighteenth New Years? Why, spend it with my family of course! To fill you in, I am not, nor have ever been one to...'party'. I've never really understood the concept of drinking enough to be labeled as 'wasted' and not remember anything from that night. Not only are you wasted, but you waste the night away.

That is, however, besides the point. Tonight I will spend as much time as I can before having to sleep due to work in the morning, and treasure the moments I will get to spend with my family. My younger brother and sister are only here for two more days. And, with the table filled with New Years goodies, we intend to countdown the night away, spend time playing Battle of the Sexes with the family that did show up, and eating a very delicious meal.

Happy New Years everyone!

Happy New Years...?

So, while the world has already begun to celebrate their new years, such as Australia this early in our morning...America is barely waking up. Adults, like me, are up before the crack of dawn, getting ready for work while rubbing the sleep from our eyes and struggling to stay awake in the shower, have to work New Years Eve.

But, like more Americans than I realize, I also get to spend my New Years Day at work. Oh what joy! There are no words to express how happy I am to spend a holiday at work!

Well, while I feel like being sarcastic, over the top, and all around grumpy due to my work schedule for tomorrow, I really should be excited. You know why? I bet you don't, so I'm going to tell you. I get paid holiday pay. Yay!

How much is Holiday pay? You may ask...

Not time and a half.

But DOUBLE and a half!

Now that is something to celebrate. I don't make that much money in the first place, being a high school graduate, but makes more than other high school graduates....at least I would hope so for the job I get to do every day.... I make ten dollars an hour...which is pretty good in Texas, with the minimum wage still being in the seven dollars.

DOUBLE AND A HALF!

You do realize that means I'll be getting paid, technically speaking, twenty-five dollars an hour...for eight hours. TWENTY-FIVE!

Yes, I do realize that is just for a day. But when I make, before taxes, eighty dollars a day...making double and a half of that is AWESOME!

At least for someone who has been living paycheck to paycheck, and is scraping by with hardly enough to put into savings for college.

So, my dear readers that have yet to stumble over my blog and begin to read, THAT is something to be excited about.

And to think, I was initially upset that I had to be working when I could have been spending time with my family. The family that includes my younger brother and sister that are visiting from Washington for this week only.

Oh well. As much as I love them, it will be a relief to have a bigger pay check in two weeks.

Happy new years to me, to you, and to the rest of this planet.

HAPPY NEW YEARS! Keep it safe and happy.

And remember, Don't drink and drive.

It takes a life...

Today, on my normal trek in to work, I passed an accident. The roads were icy to say the least, but the ice, as in most cases, was a black. It was invisible to any normal driver, but when the time deemed right, the ice decided to take it's prey...it's first victim of the overnight freeze. The fence that runs on the side of the road was down in that section, and a car lay flipped over on it's nose. As I approached, an ambulence finally made it's arrival. I slowed to a creeping pace to let the ambulence over...and as I inched by my heart sank as I saw a sheriff standing near the car, pointing in the distance. The car had no body inside...the driver had been thrown from the car. How far he or she had been thrown I had no way of knowing, but I had immediately assumed the works. It was horrifying enough that there had even been an accident, but for the driver to have been thrown a possible hundred feet in weather close to freezing made my throat closed.

The driver could have been anyone. Someone's mother, someone's father...someone's sister, brother, daughter, son. Someone's husband or wife. And that someone was probably on their way to work, like any other day. Ready to get their day started, to earn a living for themselves or their family.

It was a nice car too. Whoever owned that car, and sat behind the wheel that morning with their hands gripping the wheel, was more than likely successful in what they did. They probably live, or lived, a very comfortable lifestyle. I'm praying that it can still be categorized as 'live' rather than 'lived'... But regardless of how successful that person had been, how nice a car they drove, or if they had a loving family back home, nothing could stop the tragedy from happening this morning.

When I think about how I've complained about how dull life can be when I work, I would like to slap myself. At least I have life. Every night I go to bed without the fear of forever staying asleep. I wake up for the day and make it to work safely.

Who am I to complain?

That's the question that has been running through my head all morning. Ever since I passed that car turned upside down.

The un-expectations.

I graduated high school in June. Not so very long ago. And yet, I feel like I've been working for years. 11 to 8. Monday through Friday. 52 weeks of the year.

While in high school I couldn't wait to get into what everyone was referring to as the 'real' world. The real world was where it all happened. The real world is where it would all begin. All my dreams would unravel!

I have never been so wrong. I started my full time job in September. It's only been a few months. For some reason I had thought that the money I would be making would belong to me. Solely me. However, what I didn't realize in High School was that there were taxes taken out at every turn, health insurance to pay for....rent, gas money, money into savings for college... The money that is left over after words isn't enough to buy that new pair of heels I've been dying to have.

My dreams have begun to fade. Slowly their clear images are starting to mush together as my financial situation sets in. College? I don't know what I want to do anymore, so I'll put it off. Marriage? No....I don't think so. Kids? Definitely not. Acting?

I don't think so....not anymore.

I love to act. Haven't always loved it, but in the last few years of High School I got into drama, and even landed a lead in a musical my senior year. But now that I'm in the real world, and having to work 4o hours a week, those dreams don't seem so important....or even feasible. They seem delinquent.

I do have a question though....Where is this 'world' that is so great, so amazing, that all the teachers, peers, and adults were referring to when I was in School? Where the only thing I was responsible for was passing my classes?

"Life is good..." Some would say. But, my life is not good. Okay, yes. It's okay. But good? No!

Today is Wednesday. Two days from Friday... Pay day. The only day that makes this monotonous life worth anything. The day I get to pick up my check, deposit into the bank, only to have money enough to pay bills and buy necessities.

The expectations I had for life were, in comparison to what I'm living, high.

I'm still young, and I still have some time. Some time to get my life in order. Go to college, and maybe one day pursue my dream of acting.

But until then, I'll continue to work my 40 hours a week. I'll continue to get paid every two weeks and use most of the money on bills the following monday. I'll continue to have a close to non existent social life due to my long hours of working. And, I'll continue to live my 'okay' life.

Hopefully things will get better. I'll get a raise at my job, start moving up within the company. But until then... I'll just have to live like most Americans do. From pay check to pay check. Living the life they never wanted to, void of any expectations or dreams.